Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Something we all have to deal with in life. Whether you choose not to deal with it or to not deal completely with it, is something that keeps coming up in life. Unforgiveness can lead to bitterness which is a root cause for many fruit. Fruit like anger, abuse, self- esteem, and our view of the world. God has commanded us as Christians to forgive our neighbor because He forgave us. But, the thought of forgiving someone seems so unfair, like we are in someway condoning the negative actions of others, but in reality we are setting ourselves free from the prison that we have created for ourselves. When we don't forgive someone for the wrong that they have done we are hurting ourselves, by not letting go the anger and hatred that you may feel towards that person.

I've been in church my whole life, and of course I heard dozens of sermons and talks about forgiveness. But nonetheless I spent the last four years angry at a particular person, and just when I felt like I had forgiven them, something would happen to let me know that I wasn't where I needed to be in my heart towards them. In retrospect, I just wasted four years of my life being upset. Two of those years, was in fact, the best years of my life and I didn't enjoy them the way I could have if I had right from the get-go forgiven them.

But, God has taught me sooo much over the last four years about forgiveness in general and about love. I felt like in the past that forgiving the person meant that I would like them and want to be around them all the time; but later I realized that I can forgive someone but still not like them, and I don't have to be around them all time. It's more like loving someone from afar. Kind of like an aunt that's a little weird and you don't want to be around them but you still  love her....But stay away from me.

One of the ideas I got from the Holy Spirit and my mother was to pray for the person, because you can't hate someone if you praying for them and you know what? It worked! I slowly started being able to tolerate this person over time. I saw when I didn't pray for them and for my ability to handle being around them, that I struggled being in the same room with them.

The second thing that helped me forgive was forgiving in the moment. When the person was saying mean things to me or doing something stupid I started, instead of getting too mad at them, I  forgive them in the moment for that current offense.

Forgiveness is a journey that God allows us to go through but it can be something that we either allow to eat us up and steal our life, our joy, our relationships or we can make up in our minds that we are going to forgive quickly and constantly. Realizing that our war as Christians is not against the flesh but against principalities in high places. I realized that when people offend or hurt me its not always personal, but spiritual, and I shouldn't take on the hurt and the insecurity, but I should pray for them. People can allow demons to use them to hurt others and we need to realize that, and war against the Devil because he is the true enemy not your family or the people around you. Know that God is on our side and we will win against satan.

XO,
           Tonya

Scriptures to know in regards to forgiveness:
Ephesians 4:32; Ephesians 6:12-13; Matthew 6: 14-15